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World of Warcraft – Tanking: A Simple Guide for Simple People

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Tanking: A Simple Guide for Simple People

Step 1: Find every speed buff you can. Use them all. Smoke a bunch of crack just to be safe. Your goal is to run at least 35% faster than your healer.

Step 2: To save time, pull at least 3 groups at a time. Don't worry about keeping them all on you, your DPS will burn them down.

Step 2a: If your healer starts spamming "Healer aggro!" during a pull, ignore it. That's his problem.

Step 3: If your health ever gets below 80%, make sure to admonish your healer. A good healer will strive to be better.

Step 4: If you wipe the group because you decided to pull a boss in the middle of a 9 mob fight, wait for the healer to come back and rez you. It's his job, after all.

Step 5: If the healer marks you so he can find you when you run off or go around a corner, take that crap off. Marks are for mobs, and you're not a mob. You're a tank. The healer's just confused.

Step 6: You get bonus loot for running around a corner during difficult fights and you're below 30% health.

Submitted June 15, 2016 at 08:20PM by Gently_Farting
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